


Forever

by bornforwar_archivist



Series: Sweet Dreams [7]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2006-12-31
Packaged: 2020-03-17 09:51:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18962854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornforwar_archivist/pseuds/bornforwar_archivist
Summary: By Avalon DraculPost "school hard" season 2, spike shows up in sunnydale and someone's tampering with Buffy and Spike's dreams...only in dreams can they be lovers.





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Delenn, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Born For War](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Born_For_War), which closed in 2015. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Born For War collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bornforwar).
> 
> Disclaimer: They aren’t mine. 
> 
> Summery: post 'school hard' season 2, spike shows up in sunnydale and someone's tampering with Buffy and Spike's dreams...only in dreams can they be lovers. 
> 
> Rating: R

“Hello, luv." Spike said quietly as Buffy walked into her room. He was sitting on her bed, his head bowed and his hands hidden in his lap. He didn’t look up at her, not even when she spoke.   
  
“What’s wrong?" She asked, walking over to stand by him but he wouldn’t answer, he kept looking at the rug. Finally she kneeled in front of him and made him look into her eyes. “Spike, what’s wrong?" He looked at her for a moment and then looked out the window. Buffy followed his gaze and instead of seeing her front yard she saw blackness, stars dotting it and colors splaying across it, sending lights dancing across the floor.   
  
“The aurora borealis." Spike told her when he saw her amazement. “When Angelus died Dru and I went up to Alaska, she wanted to see it, she said something about it being the people of our past looking down on us. Something like a rip between the worlds. She sat below it for a week, not eating, not moving, just staring. I had to tear her away from it so she wouldn’t die of hunger." Spike sighed, looking back down at the rug. “I think that was when I realized that no matter what I did she wouldn’t ever be all right."   
  
Buffy looked back up at Spike then down at his covered hands. “What’s wrong?" she repeated, pulling his hands from under his coat, she gasped when she saw that they were covered in blood.   
  
“I—I didn’t do it." He begged her as she stood quickly and backed away. “I couldn’t hurt you."   
  
“Who did you kill?" she whispered, looking at him in fear. “Who did you kill?"   
  
The lights outside brightened, burning through the window, melted glass streamed down the walls and Spike stood, reaching for her, his eyes fearful, the blood on his hands burnt through his skin, his fingers turned to bone and the light started to burn through his face, holes appearing in his flesh. “Me, Buffy…I killed me…" Blood poured from his burning skin and soon he was only a skeleton. Buffy screamed as he melted to ash.   
  
Buffy woke with a start, taking a sharp breath and her eyes searched the darkened hospital room frantically. She couldn’t see much of anything, everything was blurry, the painkillers in her system were messing with her usually acute senses.   
  
It took her a minute to realize that there was something leaning against her side, she looked down and blinked several times before she was able to see the shadowy figure of one bleached blond bloodsucker. He was asleep, sitting in a hospital chair, his arm resting across her stomach and his face towards her, his ear against her chest.   
  
Buffy let herself marvel at how beautiful and innocent he looked when he was asleep. His sharp features and soft, pale skin made him one big contradiction and his cold arm was comforting to her, she knew she should be disgusted but she couldn’t help it.   
  
She stared at him for a long time, her eyes running across his face again and again, trying to burn this image of him into her memory.   
  
Spike felt a tingling on the back of his neck somewhere far away. He’d been having a weird dream about being in the Slayer’s room and catching fire and he was in the process of waking himself up when the tingling started. He knew what it meant: the Slayer was awake. He could feel her eyes on him, scrutinizing him; he felt his stomach tighten up, what did she think of him now? Did she think that he had tried to kill her? Did she hate him?   
  
He tried to push the thoughts out of his mind, reminding herself that no matter how he…felt…for her she was still human and his enemy.   
  
But he just couldn’t convince himself. He hadn’t been able to for a week now and he was the master of denial. Having dealt with Dru, making himself think she loved him, but he couldn’t convince himself that he could ever hate the little blond woman who was meant to kill him.   
  
“Why are you here?" her voice came, surprising him. He realized that she could probably feel him as much as he could feel her and he raised his head, opening his eyes and looked at her for a silent moment.   
  
“Couldn’t have you dieing, now could I?" he asked softly, he couldn’t manage his usual sardonic manor with her, not anymore. The statement had been meant as a joke but it came out honest and weak. “I—I didn’t attack you, no matter what your mates say, it wasn’t me…I couldn’t…"   
  
“I know." Buffy smiled, Spike felt his heart jump into his throat and all of a sudden he was fifteen again asking the girl next door to take a walk with him.   
  
“Dru, she didn’t know what she was doing, she’s crazy. She thinks that I’m in love with you or something, she gets all lost when I’m not with her, I didn’t tell her to kill you and I tried to stop her but I got there too late and…" Spike related, the words coming out too quickly for his mind to quite comprehend what he was saying before it was already said.   
  
“Do you?" Buffy asked, cutting him off.   
  
“Do I what?" Spike asked dumbly.   
  
“Love me." Buffy clarified, Spike heard her voice hoarsen at the words and his heart went cold. The idea of him loving her disgusted her, he knew it would.   
  
“Course not." Spike stood up a little too quickly, the emotion in his voice gone. “Just want you top-notch, don’t want you all sickly when we finally face off." He turned away, clenching his jaw. She hated him.   
  
“Don’t worry, I won’t disappoint you." Buffy said, realizing how stupid she’d been. He was a vampyre, of course he couldn’t love her, not that she wanted him to, of course not. He was gross, what he was was gross.   
  
Spike chuckled, looking back at her, the sadness in his eyes a moment ago replaced with amusement. “No, I don’t suppose you will, Slayer." He turned to leave, biting his tongue to keep from saying anything else. She’d just laugh at him.   
  
Buffy wanted to say something, wanted him to stay but she couldn’t manage the words. She didn’t even understand her reluctance to let him go. He was just another vampyre.   
  
Spike paused at the door, as if wanting to say something but let out an annoyed growl and stalked out of the room and out of the hospital.   
  
Buffy sighed, letting herself sink further into the uncomfortable bed. She stared blankly at the wall across from her. Okay girl, get a hold of yourself. It’s not like you and him exactly have much in common, okay, you fight, he fights, you’re sad, he’s sad, he loves you, you…NO. No you don’t love him. See? Nothing in common. She almost believed herself.   
  
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Spike stalked through Sunnyhell’s own cemetery (one of many, people on the hellmouth had a habit of dieing off a lot faster then most). You goddamed, weak, prickless, wanker-bastard! Just what the hell do you bloody think you’re doing you fucking git? Falling for a Slayer? Only very weak and very stupid vampyres fall for Slayers, you moron!   
  
Spike was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the familiar presence stepping out behind him until it was too late.   
  
Angel grabbed the collar of Spike’s coat and threw him twenty feet, his shoulder and head smashed against a mausoleum and the blond (still hurting) vampyre slumped to the ground. “WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Spike yelled angrily, getting to his feet, his legs a bit wobbly, he supported himself against the smooth marble and stared at his half-sire angrily. “I DIDN’T HURT YOUR PRECIOUS SLAYER IF THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK!"   
  
Angel stared incredulously at Spike for a long minute. “You came here to kill her, that’s enough reason to kill you right now." Angel growled, pulling a stake from inside his coat.   
  
“Oh ho ho! Look at this! The big, bad vampyre-with-a-soul carries around stakes right next to his heart! Are you suicidal or just a fucking moron?" Spike laughed. “And for your information, sire, I go where I please and if I want to visit my dearly departed father then I bloody well will daddy." He spat the last word out like poison.   
  
“I made you and I’ll kill you if I want to." Angel hissed, taking a menacing step towards Spike.   
  
“Oh, now he recognizes his own blood!" Spike grinned. “Tell me, Angel my boy, how does it feel to watch your son come for your little lover? Hmm? Does it make you burn inside?" Spike’s voice lowered to a whisper with the question, taking a couple of brave steps towards the older vampyre. He knew that he wasn’t a match physically for his sire but he could outwit him. It’s how he’d escaped Angelus and Angel before, they fought with their anger, fed on it, and it made them stupid and predictable. Angel took a broad swing at Spike who easily ducked it, laughing and dropping to the ground to avoid Angel’s foot. “C’mon now, sire! You can do better then that! Don’t make me realize that I came from a whelp!" Angel gave a loud growl and ran at Spike, stake raised, Spike grabbed Angel’s wrist, twisting it back behind his body, the stake falling harmlessly to the grass, Spike laughed again and kicked Angel in the back, sending him careening into the marble. “Not so easy now, is it, not so easy when you aren’t attacking me from behind? Can’t bloody push me around anymore!"   
  
“You’re nothing, Spike, you’re nothing to her and you’re nothing to me. Even Dru wouldn’t care if you died." He laughed harshly and got to his feet, staring maliciously at Spike.   
  
Spike clenched his teeth, his eyes narrowing. He knew Angel was right, on all accounts, but he refused to let Angel get to him the way Angelus had. “Me? Ha! Take a good look at yourself in the mirror, you’re a vampyre just like me, just like Dru, you can go off and play super hero with your Slayer and your soul all you want but at the end of the night you still won’t see your own reflection. I may be nothing but at least I know my place."   
  
“Leave." Angel demanded, his own anger flaring. Spike was a moron, what would he know? He didn’t have to take this from him. “Leave or I will kill you."   
  
“Oh will you now?" Spike asked, raising his eyebrows. “Well now, I’m shaking in my boots, really, sire. I’m quivering in fear. You couldn’t find your arse with two hands, like hell you could kill me."   
  
“I seem to remember breaking your face." Angel said scornfully, seeing the bruised cheekbones and cuts across Spike’s face that he had left from the earlier beating.   
  
“And I seem to remember slipping away." Spike spat back. “Can’t kill me if you can’t hold me. You could never hold me, sire, not when you were Angelus and not now." he smiled self-assuredly.   
  
Angel made a grab at Spike, the blond ducked and kicked out Angel’s legs, Angel crashed to the ground. “Don’t even try, sire, I may not be able to kill you but you sure as hell can’t even hold onto me."   
  
"Spike…" Angel said warningly, getting to his feet and facing his childe.   
  
"Sire…." Spike mocked him, laughing cruelly. "What the hell are you so high and mighty about, all of a sudden you're better then the rest of us? Walking around with your holier then thou air, its bloody bullocks. I know that, we all know that, you're the only one that just can't seem to comprehend it, damn it, even Darla knew it! The only one you were ever able to fool was Dru and she's crazier than you!"   
  
"I am better then you." Angel said, staring at Spike in hatred and anger, wanting so much to rip off his sarcastic face. "I'm better then all of you!"   
  
"Who are you trying to convince, me? No, no, no. You're trying to convince yourself, aren't you? Just can't come to terms with it, all these bloody years, all the daemons you've killed, the innocent little lives you've saved and you still can't wake up and not hate yourself. Not even when you wake up with her." Spike shook his head, a knowing smile on his face. "When are you going to learn, sire, nothing you can do can change what you are. Even the little Slayer has realized that, her with her little broken heart and her little fragile mind, crying away in some hospital room for the horror that is her life and here you are, her knight in shining armor, fighting for you, not for her. You always were a bloody self-absorbed bastard." He chuckled.   
  
Angel grabbed Spike's throat, slamming his back against a mausoleum. "You listen to me, boy, you stay away from her, you stay away from all of them. If you touch a hair on their heads I swear to god that I will rip you limb for limb." He threatened, a hint of Irish in his words.   
  
Spike grinned, kneeing Angel in the stomach, Angel doubled over and Spike let out a wicked laugh. "Well lookie here! A bit of the big bad Angelus is still in you, isn't it? Not so holy after all, are you!" he laughed again, starting to walk away, leaving the older vampyre to his brooding anger.   
  
"You're nothing, William. Angelus knew it, Darla knew it, Dru knows it. You're nothing." Angel growled, Spike paused in his saunter, the glee wiped from his face, but he didn't turn around. Taking a deep breath he raised his head and left the cemetery.   
  
Spike threw an empty bottle of Whisky against the crypt wall with the most strength that he could muster, an angry, drunken yell accompanying the sound of shattering glass. He grabbed another bottle, ripping the cap off and taking a deep, long drink before slamming it down on the coffin beside him. "Thinks he knows me, thinks he knows anything, bloody git doesn't even know himself." Spike growled, his words slurred. Now it was his turn to try to convince himself of his words. He glanced down at the dead daemon lying at his feet, its thick, sticky blood matting Spike's hair and smeared across his face and hands, he'd gotten a few new cuts and bangs of his own in procuring his new hideout. "He doesn't know anything!" he insisted to it's dead ears.   
  
Spike threw the small refrigerator door open and pulled out a container of blood. He ripped the cap off and took a deep drink before spitting it out in disgust and throwing it against the wall. "Pigs blood? The hell are you drinking pigs blood for?" he yelled at the daemon. He grabbed the bottle of whisky and took a few gulps, wiping his lips roughly with the back of his hand and smearing blood across them. "Damn bastard thinks he knows so much! Thinks he knows everything…" he yelled again, the more he said it the less he believed it.   
  
He heard cheery voices coming from outside. He cocked his head and listened:   
  
"So, lemme get this right, you stick the pointy end in the heart and poof?" A scared, female voice came.   
  
"That's how it works." A boy answered in a singsong voice, he was eating something crunchy.   
  
"Will you stop that? You're going to tip them all off!" An angry British voice exclaimed.   
  
"Sorry, almost done." The boy said, shoving more into his mouth and then crinkling the bag up loudly.   
  
"What ever could I have done to deserve this?" The Brit asked.   
  
Spike threw open the door; he knew who was out there. "You stay way from here! Go away, you can't get me!" he threw a bottle at the red head of one startled Willow. "I'm invisible!" he exclaimed proudly.   
  
"I think he means invincible." Xander whispered to the confused girl.   
  
"I know what I bloody mean! You think I don't? You wanna fight? Step up, we'll see whose got the biggest wrinklies 'round these parts!" Spike yelled, nearly incomprehensible.   
  
Willow looked at Xander who shook his head. They both looked at Giles to define "wrinklies." "It sounds like a dirty word…you don't think he's talking about his…you know…" Willow blushed.   
  
"What are you talking about?" Spike exclaimed, totally lost. "My what?"   
  
"Look here, if you want a fight then fight me, I wasn't called the Ripper for nothing." Giles said, stepping up and raising a stake.   
  
Spike burst out laughing, actually knocking himself off his feet and hitting his head. "Ow…" he complained.   
  
"I think he's drunk." Willow whispered. "Or…crazy."   
  
"Bastard thinks he can tell me where to go, he doesn't know anything." Spike moaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. "Actually said that he made me so he can kill me, thinks he's so good because of his friggin' soul, thinks he can love her better then I can…love her…" he wrinkled his brow. "Okay, I lost me there…"   
  
"Is he talking about Buffy?" Xander asked, looking at Giles.   
  
"Bloody bitch! She thinks she's so better then me too! I stay by her all night she wakes up and she's all "I could never love you" and I'm all "yea, well I wouldn't want you to" and she bloody thinks she knows everything and she has stupid hair!" he yelled angrily, not quite sure what he was saying. "I saved her arse from Dru, I hurt my Dru for her and she hates me! Stupid chit!" he punched the wall behind him. "Ow!" he howled, holding his hand to his chest, tears of pain streaming down his cheeks. "They don't know nothing, they're all so bloody blind, think everything's so…" he knitted his eyebrows. "What was I saying?" he asked, looking bleary eyed at the three totally taken aback people. "Well don't just bleedin' stand there looking stupid! She sent you here to kill me so go and friggin' try! I dare you you whelps!" He put his fists up. "C'mon, step up, I'll take you all!"   
  
Giles walked right up to him and punched him right in the face. Spike was out like a light.   
  
The first sensation Spike had was something warm being wiped across his face, it made his head hurt. Groaning he tried to push it away, his eyes opening. He had to blink several times before he could see anything besides a blinding light. "Shhh." Buffy coaxed him. "It's all right. They've gotta get cleaned or else they're going to infect and somehow I don't think an infectious vampyre would be better then just one that got the crap kicked out of it."   
  
"Think you're right, luv." Spike said, wrapping his arms around her legs that his head was resting on. "Right then, clean on. Just try not to get at the deep ones too much, they hurt."   
  
"Oh, stop wining. This is all in your head anyway, it's not like you're actually in pain." Buffy smiled down at him. Spike stared at her for a few moments before he reached up and brushed her hair out of her face.   
  
"I didn't mean it today." Spike said, his hand dropping back to his side. "I—I thought you hated me." He looked down at the carpet, realizing that he was lying in her room.   
  
"I know." Buffy sighed. "I don't really want to think about reality right now, 'k?" she set the washcloth aside and moving to lay down beside him, folding her arms across her chest and looking over at him. "I think I'm starting to get the hang of these dreams." She told him. "I mean at first I didn't have any control over them but now they're—different."   
  
Spike moved closer to her, pulling her against him and kissing the top of her head before resting his face against the carpet, inches from hers and looking at her. "You know, Slayer, I think I'm falling in love with you." He smiled.   
  
"I know." Buffy searched his eyes. "I…" Spike cut her off, pressing his lips to hers, his eyes squeezed shut. He didn't want to hear what she was going to say. Buffy pressed her fingers to his face, pulling him closer before wrapping her arms around him and moving him on top of her. Spike kissed down her throat, unbuttoning her shirt as he went. She shrugged it off and then turned him on his back, straddling him and sitting up, bringing him with her. His fingers traveled down her back then back up to the clasp of her bra, undoing it quickly and discarding it.   
  
His lips played across her breast, licking and nipping at tender flesh. She tilted her head back, giving a soft moan of contentment, her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his face up to her and kissing him again, pressing herself against him. Spike picked her up; her legs fastened around his hips and carried her to the bed, pressing her back against the soft, familiar comforter. His hands ran up her sides and the insides of her arms, pulling them up over her head, his fingers intertwined with hers. "You're so bloody beautiful." He whispered. "Gorgeous." His lips slid down the crevice of her breasts and stomach, sliding the waist of her pants down a little and sucking on the flesh just inside of her hip.   
  
This time her moan was louder, she arched into him and his hands grabbed hold of her sides, still sucking. "God Spike." She whispered. "God I want you so badly." She bit her lip, her eyes squeezed shut.   
  
Spike looked up at her, his face vampiric. "Do you really want me, Slayer?" he whispered. "All of me?" blood dripped from his lower lip and his golden eyes gleamed.   
  
Buffy stared at him for a minute before pressing her lips to his, her eyes closed and kissing him passionately. "Forever." She whispered.   
  
Buffy woke up with a start, startling the nurse, Giles and Joyce who were sitting in the hospital room. "Buffy, are you all right?" Joyce rushed to her, throwing her arms around her daughter. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here before, I didn't even realize that you were gone until this morning and all the power was out and I was so worried!"   
  
Buffy looked around the room, confused and still afraid. "Buffy, did—did he come to you?" Giles asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose. Buffy nodded silently, looking down at her hands. Her mother had released her and looked confused between Giles and Buffy. "Mrs. Summers, if you would be so kind as to allow me to speak with Buffy in private it would be much obliged." He said tiredly.   
  
"She's my daughter. I have a right to know what's going on in her life!" Joyce exclaimed. "All of this secrecy between the two of you, I don't like it!" She said, sounding very childish.   
  
"Mom, please." Buffy begged, her voice hoarse and even more tired the Giles. "I promise I'll tell you later but please, trust me."   
  
"Trust you? You snuck out of the house at night, broke into the school and look what you got yourself into! How can I trust you when you've never given me a reason to?" She was hysterical now.   
  
"Mrs. Summers, perhaps it's not my place, however…" Giles began.   
  
"No," Joyce turned on him, her eyes flashing and suddenly looking very much like her daughter. "No, it really isn't is it?"   
  
"Mom, please…" Buffy begged, tears streaming down her face. "Please, I can't take all of this! God! I feel like I'm going insane! He's always there! He was here last night…oh god, I think I'm falling in love with him!" She sobbed into her hands, her shoulders shaking violently.   
  
Giles and Joyce stared at Buffy, surprise written across their faces. "He was here last night?" Giles asked. "Willow, Xander and I encountered him at the cemetery, he was very intoxicated. He said something about you saying that you wouldn't ever love him."   
  
Buffy looked up at Giles, tears still sliding steadily down her cheeks and her eyes bloodshot. "He—he hates me." She sobbed even harder, for some reason this bothered her more then the prospect that she might love him.   
  
Joyce pulled her daughter against her, letting her cry on her shoulder. She had no idea what was going on but she'd never seen Buffy like this. "Maybe it's for the best." Joyce said, stroking Buffy's messy hair. "Any boy who hangs out in cemeteries is sure not to be good news."   
  
"God, you don't get it, do you?" Buffy pulled away violently. "Are you blind or just a moron? All the times I snuck out at night? The cuts and scrapes and bruises I magically wake up with? The frequent visits to the hospital? Don't you get it?" Buffy yelled.   
  
"Buffy—" Joyce started, taken aback.   
  
"How many times have you washed blood out of my clothes? How many times have I broken the heels off of my new shoes? Huh? Are you starting to get it yet?" Buffy ripped the IV out of her hand, pulling the wires that here connected to her head off and the heart monitor off of her middle finger. "Look at me!" She demanded, opening her arms. "No marks, yesterday I wasn't even conscious! There were holes in my neck and look!" she ripped the bandage off of her neck to show smooth, unbroken skin. "Nothing! Do you really think that's normal?"   
  
"You have a very high immune system." Joyce stammered.   
  
"And what, did I get that from you? Which one of you gave me the superhero gene? Huh?" Buffy demanded. "You never even tried to understand me, did you? No, I'm just your problem child, right? Just the bad kid." Buffy laughed. "Yea, who'd guess that I'd be out there saving the world when I could be hanging out with my friends at the mall or buying things, right?"   
  
"Mrs. Summers, I think that what Buffy is trying to tell you is that she's not quite what you think she is." Giles said, trying to break up the ensuing argument he knew Buffy was trying to start.   
  
"What, you knew about this? What have you been telling my daughter?" Joyce stared at Giles hatefully. "I knew there was something wrong going on between you. Buffy you're not…involved with this man are you?" Joyce asked suspiciously.   
  
Buffy laughed again. "Yea Mom, he's my secrete librarian lover." She shook her head, wiping away her tears harshly. "You just won't get it, will you?"   
  
"There is nothing—inappropriate going on between myself and your daughter. I am her teacher, of some sort." Giles tried to explain. "Buffy? You want to finally tell me what's been going on with you?" Joyce asked, raising her eyebrows and crossing her arms.

The End


End file.
